Back to the 80s...

Those were blissful days. Saturday and Sunday mornings meant waking up at 8, DD Metro and maggi!! After a lazy shower, I would get all dressed in my favorite brown chungidi paavadai, pick up my ganamrutha bodhini (and varnamalika later) and step on my tiny champ, struggling to race away from the buffalos and dogs on murugappa saalai. I also had imaginary friends who would bike along with me. I don’t know why I did that. Maybe I was just too scared traveling alone and I had these made up friends who I’d sing to and talk to- of course not aloud! The one hour classes at Suganthi mam’s house were the most enjoyable hours of the week, not to mention the extra perks of bonus bhajan sessions and yummy prasadam on Sundays!

I have finally managed to get back to learning classical music, after a hiatus of 12 long years. I don’t remember a thing. All I have done the last 12 years was study study and study more- just to do what gizillion other Indians have done for years. Anyway- it feels absolutely BRILLIANT to start with the Sa Pa Sas again. Fantabulous. Right now, doing the varaveenas and the ninnukoris. Soon to get in to the keerthanais. I love those 1.5 hours that I get to myself. It’s almost like I want to get away from everything and just lose myself in something that does not, for a change, stress me out. Maami is brilliant- she gets into the technical nit grits of the language of music. I dint even know there were so many variations! Its as complicated as differential calculus but as logical and scientific too.

Googled for some music quotes to put a smart ending to this blog entry. Liked this one -

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name

Random Thoughts..

I decided to take a rather long lunch break today. I have been trying to keep up with a lot of events and people of late. I believe this is normal, considering the fact that I just moved in to another city. I find myself torn apart in between family, friends from school, from college, from work and then the usual “new-kid-on-the-block” pressure and the mundane household chores. I am desperately trying hard to get out of wanting to be in the middle of things. I think I have always been this way. I desperately try to give it all to somebody or something to begin with. Slowly the closeness starts to suffocate and then I move away in fear, confusion and exasperation. I also realize this is not done intentionally. I guess I somehow fail to draw the line between “being there for somebody” and “feeling responsible for somebody/something”. There is a huge difference between the two. What I should ideally be doing is category one. What I end up doing almost always is category two. And then I give up! It has, in the past, lead to very frustrating relationship strains and has left some bad marks. I guess all this is a part and parcel of anybody’s life. Nothing extraordinarily abnormal. I was browsing through some of my friends’ blogs and mine that were written last summer and thereafter. What a transition! Right now I am stuck in this virtual world where most of my communication with those "who mean to me" happens only through the techy version of Mr. Bell's invention. I so miss those innocent days- when there were no strings attached to any statement. When our motto was work hard and play even harder! Simply inexplicable. Anyways, I also have come to realize that I think more than I should be. Sayonara!

Smile Please!

I wonder how tough it is for people to smile. Is it so hard? I mean really. I know of a neighbour at work- lets just call him Mr. I-cannot-smile-for-nuts. Well you know, people in this country are very friendly. Its not uncommon to encounter the "How's it going?"s and the "Wassup?"s. I have definitely come to imbibe the practices here- just like every other mortal who has landed here after 20 odd years of their life. May be I expect too much, but I have been trying to see a smile on this person's face for close to three months now- and well- the statistics show a perfect Zilch! I wonder why Mr. I-cannot-smile-for-nuts finds it so hard to respond to friendly Hi's or Hello's or even a nod when we happen to bump in to each other in the hallways (which happens every now and then by the way). I mean - yeah- we all have our bad days- days when we have to pretend to be all happy and self content- when in reality - our hearts are crying out for comfort, sympathy, affection and what not. Anyways- so coming back to the point, the fact is- A smile uses only 17 muscles and a frown 43! Hmmm- Wonder why it's so hard for some people? People of the world - SMILE - for all that it is worth! You dont lose a thing! And guess what? It really really is infectious!! Its wonderful to have people who are pleasant and cheerful. Agreed- you cant be happy all the time! But again - life has its quirks- get over it! Doesn't hurt if you give yourself some credit! :)

Mr. I-cannot-smile-for-nuts...if at all you're in to blog hopping - Hope you're reading this :)