Trust, to me, is the basis of all relationships - especially marital. It is tough to build and easily broken. When you trust somoene, you dont feel the need to be guarded, to wrap yourself up in protective layers. You feel comfortable enough to be yourself- almost always. You do not find the necessity to keep things from your partner. In fact a lot of relationship gurus and elders constantly remind us about how important it is to have a relationship that involves open communication. That said, it takes time to build this trust for most people. Most of us gradually shed our layers one by one over the years when we feel secure enough with this other person. I would think it happens when your partner's words match with his or her actions and they're consistent with what they say and do.
I had a rather interesting conversation with a recently wedded friend of mine. This friend had a conventional "arranged" Indian wedding. So when we were chatting, the discussion hovered around sharing personal security information like passwords to email accounts etc and I was rather surprised when she said that she and her husband do not know each others' passwords and dont intend sharing it either. I dont know why I found it so hard to digest what she said.
For the records, N knows all of my passwords and on a lazy day - I've even asked him to log in to check my inbox for me. I am supposed to know his too- I just dont remember them because they're too complicated to memorize. That said, I have to admit that there are things that I will never disclose to anybody ever. Not because I dont trust - but because it is my own little personal space - which involves only me, my thoughts and my feelings. Plus it is better off
remaining that way.
Anyway, the point being, I always assumed husbands and wives, girlfriends and boyfriends shared stuff like this and it wasn't a big deal! I mean what could be so important and personal that your significant other shouldn't know? This was the first time that I heard something different and I was fairly amused! So now I am curious - how many of you would/do share such information with your partner? My friend also seems to think it is probably because of the whole arranged/non-arranged wedding thingy.But I beg to differ. I think even in arranged weddings you'll eventually share such information. What do you all think?
