Random Thoughts..

I decided to take a rather long lunch break today. I have been trying to keep up with a lot of events and people of late. I believe this is normal, considering the fact that I just moved in to another city. I find myself torn apart in between family, friends from school, from college, from work and then the usual “new-kid-on-the-block” pressure and the mundane household chores. I am desperately trying hard to get out of wanting to be in the middle of things. I think I have always been this way. I desperately try to give it all to somebody or something to begin with. Slowly the closeness starts to suffocate and then I move away in fear, confusion and exasperation. I also realize this is not done intentionally. I guess I somehow fail to draw the line between “being there for somebody” and “feeling responsible for somebody/something”. There is a huge difference between the two. What I should ideally be doing is category one. What I end up doing almost always is category two. And then I give up! It has, in the past, lead to very frustrating relationship strains and has left some bad marks. I guess all this is a part and parcel of anybody’s life. Nothing extraordinarily abnormal. I was browsing through some of my friends’ blogs and mine that were written last summer and thereafter. What a transition! Right now I am stuck in this virtual world where most of my communication with those "who mean to me" happens only through the techy version of Mr. Bell's invention. I so miss those innocent days- when there were no strings attached to any statement. When our motto was work hard and play even harder! Simply inexplicable. Anyways, I also have come to realize that I think more than I should be. Sayonara!